Shinsengumi in Wonderland
by Saleboat
Summary: Chizuru finds herself lost in a strange world. Draws heavily from Lewis Caroll's "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass."
1. Chapter 1

It was a hot afternoon. It was the kind of afternoon that makes a person want to curl up beneath a shaded tree and sleep the day away. _But that certainly wouldn't do_, Chizuru thought to herself. _I can't just take a nap when everyone else is busy_.

So the young woman stood up from beneath the tree and wiped the dirt off her hakama. _ But what _can_ I_ _do?_ she wondered. She had already helped clean the headquarters and brought tea to everyone. While she knew those were minor tasks, she took some comfort in that those were things she _could_ do. _Perhaps someone might need me to run an errand?_ she thought. And yet, wouldn't they ask her if they needed her for that? _Perhaps someone needs help with supper? It is certainly worth looking into._

Within the main compound she wondered the corridors as she headed for the kitchen hoping to run into someone who might need help along the way. As she neared the kitchen her spirits lifted at the smell of dinner cooking. She had been afraid she might have arrived before preparations began and the smell of soy and fish told her otherwise; but when she entered it was the most curious thing. Rice was boiling over a fire, there was fish on a grill, and a radish lay half chopped on a cutting board, and yet, there was no one boiling the rice, grilling the fish, or cutting the radish. She stood alone in an empty kitchen.

"Um, excuse me. Is anyone here?" she called out. But no one answered. "Hello?" she called out again, this time poking her head out of the kitchen. _That's odd_, she thought, _who would leave the kitchen unattended? _She moved over to the neglected fish, checking to see how it was coming along. It had not been over the fire for very long. _Surely whoever was cooking must have stepped out for just a moment? I'll just watch it until they come back._ But by the time the fish and the rice were cooked whoever was supposed to be cooking had not returned.

"I should probably go look for someone," Chizuru stated, feeling somewhat unnerved from the quiet in the kitchen. "It seems unlikely that someone would forget they're cooking, but maybe something came up that prevented whoever was cooking from returning?" But as she began wondering the corridors the silence persisted. "I wonder where everyone is?" she peered into a room, hoping to see some sign of life. "If something happened there would have been more of a commotion." _And even if there was something going on I should have run into someone by now_. Down another hall and all was quiet. "Then again, I don't think I ran into anyone when I was on my way to the kitchen either." That thought disturbed her. Her head became flooded with unanswered questions. How long had she been left alone? Where had everyone gone? Why was no one left on reserve? She ran through the remaining halls, panicked, checking every room. No one was left, not the captains or the rank-and-file. Even the furies where missing.

"What's going on? I know they don't have to tell me where they're going but surely…" She shook her head. "No, something's not right. If something happened they would have left soldiers to guard the headquarters and if they had to leave they would have taken their things with them. But what could have happened?"

Chizuru leaned against the wall as though the wooden support might offer her some comfort. As she considered her next move, she heard the sound of hurried footsteps from around the corner.

_Someone is here!_ she thought, quite elated. She sped across the hall, eager to see a familiar face. _I wonder…_ "Oof!" she exclaimed, as she ran into the form that was hurrying around the corner. Steady hands grabbed her, catching her before she fell. "I'm sor…!" she began, trailing off when she caught sight of the one who held her steady. "Sai…to?" The man before her looked very much like Saito, with his familiar dark hair and blue eyes, yet there was something distinctly different about him. His clothes were not different, not really. While he still wore his white scarf and donned the Shinsengumi blue, his clothing did seem more refined. And there was one thing that was more peculiar still. Atop his head were two floppy ears that very much resembled that of a snow rabbit.

The man looked at her, betraying no emotion. "Excuse me," he stated, letting her go and walking past her.

"Um, Saito?" Chizuru repeated.

He turned to look at her, "Is there something you needed miss?"

"Miss? Saito, what's going on? Where is everyone? And… and you're ears…"

"I am sorry miss, but I do not have the time to answer your questions." He stated, turning to leave.

"Please wait! Something's not right, it's like everyone has disappeared!"

"I have not seen anyone else here. I do not seen how anyone could have disappeared if they were not here to being with."

"Huh? Saito are you okay? This is the headquarters of the Shinsengumi. There should be people here."

"Shinsengumi? Not here."

"But-"

"I must be going," he stated, with only the slightest hint of agitation."

"Are you late for something?" Chizuru asked, wondering if Saito's reason for acting so strangely was because there was something else on his mind.

"I am never late. Punctuality is very important, but I must be going." He turned to leave. "If it is the Shinsengumi you seek, I suggest you follow me, but you must keep up. I will not slow for you," he added, almost as an afterthought.

Chizuru nodded and followed the man through the halls of the Shinsingumi headquarters. So quick was he that several times she thought she lost him only for him to reappear as she turned another corner. Round and round they went. Chizuru lost count of the halls they ran through. With each new corridor Saito seemed to increase his speed. It was not until her breathing became heavy that she realized she was quite lost. This struck her as odd, seeing as she had lived in this building for quite some time now. The headquarters had never seemed quite so much like a labyrinth before.

By now she had to sprint just to keep Saito in sight. _I wonder how much longer until we find the Shinsengumi?_ she thought as she realized she could not keep up this brisk pace for much longer.

But before she could ask her question she realized she had lost track of Saito.

"Oh!" she cried when she concluded that Saito was truly gone. "But he really was in a hurry, so I guess I can't complain…" she trailed, not sure what to do now that the only person she could find was gone. _But he wasn't quite right_, she noted. He had spoken to her as though they had never met and this revelation struck her as quite odd. He also seemed quite unconcerned that everyone had disappeared. This was very un-Saito-like. "And then there was his ears," she mumbled. "I'm certain he never had those before."

Chizuru slumped against a while, quite unsure as to what to do now. Catching her breath, she tried to get a sense of where she was within the headquarters. While Saito may have left her, she was pretty sure she was close to the exit. That is, if the exit was still where it used to be. At this point, she would not be surprised if it wasn't.

As she arrived at the end of the hallway she found herself back in the kitchen rather than the exit. _A cup of tea might do me some good_, she thought, preparing water to boil. When the water was comfortably set she proceeded to search for a clean cup. She found one to her liking and placed it on the counter. She then noticed that the kitchen was not quite as she left it. Atop the counter was a single cube of tofu on a plate with a piece of parchment underneath with the words "Eat Me" written on it. Next to the tofu was a steaming cup of tea and a piece of parchment with the words "Drink Me."

_How bizarre_, she thought. Who would go through the trouble to make such a display? While she was certain quite thirsty she figured drinking the tea would be impolite as she doubted the tea was meant for her. The cube of tofu looked particularly odd to her. It seemed almost to be heaving up and down in the middle as thought it was breathing. Somewhat unnerved by the idea of a moving cube of tofu, she picked up a chopstick and proceeded to poke it. The tofu did not seem to appreciate that.

"Don't you know," said the cube of tofu, "It's rather impolite to play with your food."

"What!" Chizuru exclaimed, dropping the chopstick. "It talks!"

"Of course _it_ talks," said the tofu, rather irritated. "You don't see me making a fuss about _you_ talking now, do you?"

"But-"

"No buts, it's really not that big of a deal. Now are you going to eat me or not?"

"I- I can't just eat you!"

"Well fine," said the tofu, somewhat hurt. "You weren't worth my time anyway." The cube of tofu proceeded to pop four legs out of its sides and walked towards the exit. "Are you coming?"

"Me?" Chizuru pointed to herself.

"No, not you, tea."

"I'm coming!" came a rather chipper reply from the counter. Chizuru looked at the table and saw the tea cup grow a pair of legs and waddle off the counter, tea splashing out as it moved.

It took Chizuru a moment to process what she had seen. It wasn't everyday one encountered food that has a mind of its own. Once she felt a bit calmer she found that she no longer had a desire for tea and removed the water from the fire. When this was done she decided to continue her search for the exit.

Chizuru was not entirely sure how to find an exit that was seemingly lost. She considered her options, and decided to follow the tea trail that had spilt from the talking tea cup. The trail itself lasted quite awhile, much longer then she would have expected considering the size of the cup and the amount of tea that should have been in it. When the trail ended, she found herself in front of a door that looked remarkably like the exit. But as she opened the door, she found that what was on the other side was not as it should.

What Chizuru saw was not the streets of Kyoto, but a forest of wonders. There were trees to be sure, but they were not like any trees she had seen before. The trees reached high above her with wood as smooth as bamboo and leaves that bloomed out like grassy parasols. She could see a river in the distance, but it looked as though it had a slow, viscous quality about it. It seemed to slosh about rather then run in any particular direction. She could hear the buzzing of flies and chirping of birds, but within the sounds of familiarity were animal cries she had never heard before.

_I must be dreaming_, she thought. "This certainly can't be real.

"Are you sure about that?" asked another.

Chizuru spun around. "Okita?" she asked. While she could not seen him, that voice was unmistakably his.

I've never been called that before," said the voice.

Chizuru spun around again, searching for the voice. "Where are you?"

"I'm right here, of course," he said.

"I don't see you."

"Perhaps you aren't truly looking?" he replied.

It was an odd thing, which happened next. He tapped her on the shoulder, but when she turned around to see him, he still was not there. "I still don't see you," she said, almost pleading.

"Or maybe you are trying to hard?"

_Absurd_, Chizuru thought. But what did she have to lose? She sat down on the grassy floor and waited for him to decide to show himself. No more than a minute passed before he seemed to appear from behind her.

"I thought that might be the case," he said. What she saw next certainly looked like Okita, but like the forest before her, there was something about him that wasn't quite right. He stood before her dressed as she would have expected, but his haori was colored in stripes of white and Shinsengumi blue. Atop his head were ears that resembled a cat. Behind him swished a rather long tail that matched the ears remarkably. "I've always found it easier to see myself when I don't try too hard." The smile he gave her was rather eerie.

Chizuru sprang to her feet. "Okita, everything's wrong! The Shinsengumi are missing, the headquarters are a labyrinth, Saito doesn't seem to remember anything, there's talking tofu, and there's a forest here instead of Kyoto!" she huffed all at once.

"That's the second time, you called me that. Do you like the name Okita? Do you find it fascinating? I certainly do."

"What- Okita no- I mean…, it's just… that's your name."

"I'm rather glad you told me then, I hadn't a clue."

Chizuru looked at him, not sure if she should be taking him seriously. His smiling face betrayed nothing. "Um, Okita, what's going on?"

"Going on," he stated, almost as though he was trying to see how to words fit. "Going on, going down, going south, going under, going-"

"Okita!"

"Yes?"

"I'm very confused."

"Very Confused? What an odd choice for a name."

"What are you talking about, I'm Chizuru?"

"Chizuru? Very Confused? Well, which one is it?"

"Both."

"So you have two names as well. Well, Very Confused Chizuru, I'm the Cheshire Cat. At least, I _thought_ I was the Cheshire Cat until you called me Okita." The man smiled, his tail swaying back and forth.

"Huh?" Chizuru said, unsure of what to make of the man's words. He certainly looked like Okita, but with the missing Shinsengumi, Saito's strange behavior (and ears!), and the strange forest that used to be Kyoto how could she really be sure of anything. Perhaps nothing was as it seems?

"You've… really never seen me before, have you?" she asked.

"It's hard to say, really," he stated. As he stared off to the side Chizuru realized that he never seemed to stop smiling. "I undoubtedly do not _remember_ seeing you before, but that surely does not mean that I _haven't_ seen you before."

Chizuru felt her stomach drop. _This isn't right_. But then again, she had indisputably seen many strange things since she had begun staying with the Shinsengumi, but surely this was the most bizarre. She did not know whether or not this was the Okita she knew, but he did not seem to think he was.

"I don't know what to do," she stated.

"Then maybe you shouldn't do anything," Not-Okita suggested.

"I must do something."

"Why?"

"I- I just can't sit here and hope everything will be okay. The Shinsengumi have done a lot for me. I don't really know what I can do to help them, but if there's something I can do, I want to do it."

"Then what will you do?"

Chizuru took a deep breath. "I need to find the Shinsengumi," she decided.

"The Shinsengumi? Then I suggest you speak with the queen?"

"The queen?"

"Yes, the Queen of Hearts. Though I would be careful. They say the queen's a demon who forces the insolent to choose between seppuku and being experimented on. And I'd also warn you, the queen finds many to be of an insolent nature."

"Thank you!" Chizuru said, bowing slightly.

"Yes, I'll be sure to watch if you decide to commit seppuku," he beamed, with a little too much enthusiasm.

Chizuru gulped. "Do you know where I can find the queen?" she asked, though she honestly was not sure she wanted to find this queen.

"Well, I usually go right. I find that if I go right, I can't possibly go wrong." Not-Okita took his hand, and used it like a cat's paw to clean his face. "Then again, I suppose it doesn't really matter. All roads lead to your destination."

Before Chizuru could ask him what he meant, Not-Okita walked behind her. When Chizuru turned to look at him, he had seemingly vanished.

Chizuru felt very alone. The Okita who fashioned himself as the Cheshire Cat may not have been the man she knew, but his presence was still reassuring. She wondered if the Saito she saw was a different Saito as well. _I really wish I knew what to do_, she thought. But she knew worrying about things she didn't understand wouldn't solve anything. The only thing she could do was try to find the real Shinsengumi. "But what if the Shinsengumi Okita mentioned isn't the real Shinsengumi?" No. That was another useless thing to think about. She had to reach the queen and see for herself.


	2. Chapter 2

After the Cheshire Cat vanished, it took Chizuru quite some time to decide how to proceed as there was no main road. Eventually, she chose to take the odd man's advice and headed towards the right.

Her direction took her to one side of the forest. She was hesitant, at first, to wonder through unknown woods, but as she picked through the trees she found a small, but warn trail. _I might as well follow this_, she thought. _This way is as good as any and it's better to follow a trail then wonder aimlessly_.

The trail snaked around quite a bit and Chizuru often wondered if she was walking in circles. Time seemed to be moving slowly. Every time Chizuru looked towards the sun it seemed to have hardly moved, yet she felt like she had been walking for hours. She challenged herself to not look at the sun until she walked what she guessed to be about four miles hoping to pass the time a bit quicker. But when she looked at the sun again it seemed to have moved in a different direction. _Odd_, she thought. She walked another mile and looking up at the sun it seemed to have moved in yet another direction. She tried this a third time and the sun changed direction once more. "I'm beginning to think the sun moves in a square. It's a wonder anyone can tell direction here."

"Or perhaps it is you who is walking in a square," said a voice that sounded both close and far at the same time.

Chizuru looked around to find who the voice belonged to and saw a crouched figure a little ways off to the left of her hidden heavily with a grassy umbrella.

"I was trying to account for that," she said, walking towards the figure.

"It's not as easy as it looks. The sun tends to do as it pleases. I find it rather futile to speculate on the mind of the sun." While the man was clearly speaking to her, he seemed almost detached from the conversation.

When she approached the figure she found, to her surprise, what appeared to be Amagiri lounging beneath the grass umbrella. He seemed to be playing shogi, which he must have found more interesting than her as he never looked up from the board.

Chizuru was not accustomed to running into Amagiri, or other demons from his clan without being kidnapped and thus her first instinct was to run. After further consideration she remembered that nothing here was quite right and even if she did run, he could probably catch her anyway.

On closer inspection she figured the man was probably not Amagiri. In his left hand was a long red pipe. He was dressed in a bright yellow kimono and a green haori. There were blue circles on each of the sleeves of this haori quite similar to the outfit she was used to seeing him in. While this was a rather odd outfit for one to chose to wear, what truly separated him from the demon who followed Kazama was two antennae sprouting from his forehead.

"My name is Chizuru," she said, introducing herself.

"I never asked you for your name," the man replied, moving a piece on the board. While Chizuru was much closer to the man then she was before she noted that his voice still retained the quality of being both near and far at the same time. "Though I suppose it doesn't hurt to know."

"May I ask who you are?"

"You may."

When it became evident the man was not going to say anything else she asked, "What is your name?"

"Caterpillar." He took a puff from his pipe, but when he released his breath, he blew out no smoke.

Chizuru looked at the Shogi board. She had always thought the game was usually played with two people. "Who are you playing against?"

"Myself."

"Doesn't that make it rather easy to win?"

"Not in the least. I cannot think of a more challenging opponent then myself."

"But won't you always know what you are going to play next."

"Not if I do not tell myself what I am about to play. That would be cheating."

Chizuru was very confused. She decided it may be best to discontinue the small talk and go straight to business. "I am trying to find the Shinsengumi," she paused, waiting to see if he would respond. "Do you know where I can find them?"

"I do not."

"Do you know someone who can help me?"

"It is impossible."

"Impossible? Why?"

"Because you have not stated what it is you need help with. It is absurd to ask if I know someone who can help if I do not know in what way it is you are requiring help."

"But I…" Chizuru was beginning to get quite frustrated. It seemed that this Caterpillar was not an easy person to talk to. "Then, do you know someone who can help me find the Shinsengumi, or at least point me in the right direction."

Caterpillar moved another piece on the board. "I do not. _ I_ do not know the location and I cannot begin to speculate what is on the minds of others. Truly, it is rather illogical to ask me questions about other persons' minds when they are not my own."

_This is getting nowhere_, Chizuru thought. "May I ask you another question?"

"Yes."

"Why do you speak like that?"

"Like what?"

"Literally. Or is it specifically?"

"Properly."

"Ok, why do you speak so properly?"

"Because it is the proper thing to do. Would you have me speak improperly?"

"Well, no." She paused, considering how to ask her next question. She decided that much more of any conversation with this man would be entirely useless. "Can you at least direct me to a main road? I'm not sure that I will be able to find my way using the path that I was taking."

"I can."

"Will you?"

Without looking at her he stated, "Follow me."

Chizuru waited for him to stand, but after several minutes she realized that he probably was not going to move after all. "Um, Caterpillar. You said to follow you…"

"No, I said 'follow me.'"

"I know, but… you're not moving?"

"Why would I need to move?"

"But-"

Using his pipe, Not-Amagiri pointed towards the ground. "Follow me."

Chizuru looked down. By her feet and trailing off into the distance were the words "Follow" and "Me" stamped into the ground like a series of footprints.

_I don't think those words were there before_, Chizuru thought. Yet at this point, she was hardly surprised. She bowed to Not-Amagiri, "Thank you."

Without bothering to acknowledge her courtesy, Caterpillar continued his game.

Chizuru followed to word trail for quite some time. It was hard going, as she was not following any particular beaten path, but the words trail remained quite visible even on the toughest of terrain. She found it odd that she became neither tired, hungry, nor thirsty. _Perhaps people here do not to eat or drink so often_?" she wondered. She thought it was equally possible that she had not become tired because the sun had not yet decided set. _A ridiculous notion_, she would have thought had she been in her own world. But by now she was becoming quite accustomed to absurdities and strangeness. Someone could tell her that the sky is usually red, but sometimes green and she'd probably believe them. How long would she go before she ceased to use logic at all?

As Chizuru considered this, she realized the word trail was beginning to grow faint. Startled by the change she began moving more rapidly as though in doing so she could will the words into being. Yet the further she walked, the lighter the words became. By the time the words were gone completely, she reached another path. She breathed deeply, quite happy that she found the road before the word trail had faded completely. It occurred to her then that perhaps the trail had faded because she was approaching this road.

The road looked to be nothing more than a wide dirt path, but it was clearly more traveled then anything she had come across until now. When she walked on it she found that there seemed to be a bounce to her step. It was a bit difficult to get used to, but she soon found herself walking a bit quicker and more enjoyably. Her humor was short lived, however, for she soon heard a loud _pop_ after which the ground seemed to almost deflate beneath her leaving her with the hard ground she had expected to find.

The dirt path took Chizuru in a much straighter line then the first trail she took. It was not long until she found the trees waning into blue-green grassy hills. As she past the last of the trees she saw what appeared to be smoke billowing up behind a hill. She suspected it must be coming from a camp fire from the size of it, but it had an odd syrupy quality to it that normal smoke certainly shouldn't have.

Chizuru decided to walk towards the smoke, hoping that it truly was from a camp fire. Perhaps whomever the fire belonged to would be able to direct her to the Shinsengumi?

As she neared the source of the fire she began to her what sounded like voices. Perhaps two voices. By the time she neared the top of the hill, she was fairly certain there were not only two voices, but two voices that sounded remarkably familiar. When she reached the top of the hill she saw two very familiar men not far from where she stood. Only yards before her were Harada and Nagakura dancing arm-in-arm around a camp fire singing a bawdy song about tea houses and courtesans. They appeared to be sharing one outfit between the two of them. Nagakura wore only a blue top that just barely reached his knees and opened wide at the chest while Harada wore nothing but a pair of low set white hakama, though his stomach was covered by binding. As they danced in circles they passed between them a large jug. From them smell blowing in her direction, it was probably alcohol.

"Um, excuse me," Chizuru said as she reached the camp fire.

The two men stopped mid step and mid lyric. "Ah, what do we have here?" asked the man who looked like Harada.

"It looks kind of like a bird," said Nagakura.

Harada shook his head, "More like a pretty little flower."

"A flower? That isn't very manly."

"Neither is a bird."

"It's manlier than a flower."

"But it resembles Alice a bit, don't you think?"

"More like the Knave of Hearts."

"The Knave of Hearts? Well, I suppose the Knave is more manly then a bird. Though I hardly know how _she_ would feel at being called manly," Harada stated, pointing at Chizuru.

"Then we'll just have to ask _him_."

Both men turned to look at Chizuru. "Well, are you a flower or a bird," Harada asked.

"Or the Knave or Alice?" questioned Nagakura.

Chizuru hesitated. "Um… I'm Chizuru."

"Chizuru? I've never heard of a Chizuru before," Harada puzzled.

"I'm a woman."

Nagakura looked shocked. "Then it's not a bird?"

"Yes, I suppose it's a bit tall to be a flower," Harada mused.

"And it's not dressed right to be the Knave," Nagakura stated.

"Or Alice," Harada agreed.

Chizuru was baffled. What an odd thing, to be surprised that she was neither a bird nor a flower. Shouldn't it have been clear that she was a human? And who was this Knave of Hearts and Alice. "Is it really that strange?" she asked. "Are you not human too?"

Harada and Nagakura looked at each other. "I've never wondered," Nagakura frowned.

Harada shrugged. "We are who we are."

"And who would that be?"

Nagakura pointed at himself, "I'm Tweedle Dee."

"And I'm Tweedle Dum." Harada stated. "We're twins."

Nagakura put his arm over Harada's shoulders. "Identical twins, can't you tell?"

"Well, I suppose you do look a little alike," Chizuru said politely.

The two men looked at each other. "Nah," Nagakura grinned. "We don't look anything alike."

"I thought you said you were identical?" Chizuru questioned.

Harada dislodged himself from Nagakura. "We don't even have the same parents, but we do have twin spirits."

"Twin spirits?"

"That's right," Nagakura chimed in. "Our spirits are identical, except when they're not."

"But that's hardly why you're here, no?" Harada asked.

"I'm looking for the Shinsengumi," she stammered, yet as soon as the words left her mouth Nagakura became quite agitated.

"Shh!" Nagakura hissed, crouching in front of Chizuru with his index finger over his lips. "Never mention the Shinsengumi!"

"The what?" Harada asked, bending down near Nagakura. "Did you say Shinsengumi?"

"No, no she didn't."

"Why would you want to find them?" Harada asked, crestfallen.

"But… I…" Chizuru mumbled.

Nagakura sighed. "Now you got him started." He walked back over to the camp fire and sat down. "You might as well get comfortable too, this could take awhile."

Chizuru nodded and sat near Nagakura. She felt quite bewildered at the level of energy possessed by these two men. She could hardly get a word in let alone a thought.

Harada unwound the binding covering his stomach revealing a deep horizontal scar. "Tweedle Dee and I were a part of the Shinsengumi," he began. "Though that was quite some time ago. The King of Hearts and Tweedle Dee did not quite see eye-to-eye and that was a rather awkward position for me as I had no quarrel with the King. But Tweedle Dee is my twin so I had little choice but to take his side. Now, this would have been all well and fine if the Queen was taken to let those who wished to leave go, but one does not simply leave the Shinsengumi under the Queen's watch. The only obvious choice was to make the Queen mad, that way the Queen would be forced to make us commit seppuku or drink the Hatter's tea. So I stole the Queen's tart, causing quite a bit of anger. I chose seppuku over the Hatter's tea, as I am not very fond of tea. Though, the cut I made was far too shallow and to the dismay of the Queen I was still very much alive. But the Duchess felt rather sorry for me, and convinced the Queen to let the both of us go. The Duchess has rather a way with words and it probably helped that the Queen had become quite taken with the Duchess's servant. But that is another tale for another time." Finishing his story, Harada breathed deeply as though this was the first breath he took since her started his story. Chizuru suspected it might have been.

Chizuru was quite confused by Not-Harada's story. With the way Not-Nagakura ranted she had assumed it would take him a good deal longer to tell his tale. It was also a very un-Harada like story to tell. That aside, she rather wondered what a tart was and what was so bad about Hatter's tea. And this Duchess character. She must be quite a woman to sway the Queen. But as Harada re-wrapped his stomach, she figured she really should say _something_. "That was quite the tale, though it really wasn't all that long," she noted.

"It varies in length depending on his mood and how drunk he is," Nagakura whispered.

"I rather like his stories," whispered another voice in her other ear.

Recognizing the voice she turned to see if the voice's owner was truly there, though she was not surprised when she saw no one. "Oki- er, Cheshire Cat, is that you?"

"Indeed, can you not see me?"

"Of course we can't," snapped Nagakura.

"Cheshire Cat, it's not very polite to speak when you are invisible," Harada chided.

"I apologize. I don't make a habit of looking at myself, so I hardly realize that others cannot see me," Okita relented, though Chizuru could practically hear his smile.

"Well then, are you going to show yourself," Harada asked, though he received no response. "Cheshire Cat, it is also rude to not answer a question when someone asks one of you."

"So sorry," Okita's voice replied. "But you did say that it was impolite to speak if I was not visible and I do not really feel like showing myself at the moment. It's far too much work."

"Well, I suppose it would be even ruder to pretend you're not here now that we know you are here, even if we can't see you," decided Nagakura.

"I am so glad that you have decided to acknowledge my existence," Okita said, rather dryly. Somehow, Chizuru didn't think he really cared. "As far as existences go, I'm rather fond of mind."

"Oh, it's quite good to be fond of one's existence," Nagakura agreed. "I know I am rather fond of my own."

Harada nodded. "I suppose that means I must be fond of my own."

"You think so?" asked Okita.

"Well yes. As Tweedle Dee and I share an existence, if one is fond of our existence, it follows that the other will as well."

Chizuru found it difficult to follow their chain of logic. It seemed to be utter nonsense, in her opinion.

Okita tilted his head to the side. "But what if you were _not_ fond of your existence? Would it then follow that he also not be fond? By your logic you cannot hold a different opinion then Tweedle Dee and surely you must have disagreed on something."

"Perhaps," Harada acknowledged. "We disagree rather often. But it may matter more who was either fond or not fond first. Or perhaps it only matters sometimes. You see, we are not always identical."

"I'm not sure I quite follow," Nagakura stated, mirroring Chizuru's confusion. "Besides, does it really matter who is fond of who?"

"Not really," Okita's voice gleaned. Though in Chizuru's opinion, he almost sounded like he was purring. "What do you think Miss Very Confused."

"Me?" asked Chizuru.

"Why yes, I hardly know anyone as confused as you."

"Well, I… I don't really know. This is all so confusing."

"Yes, I rather thought you might say something like that. I think you may be trying to hard again. You may be overworking that little brain of yours. You may want to try sleeping on it, though I'd be careful. Some thoughts make a rather sharp bed."

"But I really need to find the Shin- er, I need to find those people I said I needed to find before."

"You could try talking to Hatter," Nagakura suggested. "He seems to know a little bit about everything there is to know."

"And some things about everything there isn't to know," Harada added.

"He also knows a bit about nothing, but don't let that stop you," Okita's voice smiled.

"Do you know where I can find this Hatter?"

"You should be able to find him if you continue on this road," Harada suggested. "This road has a tendency to lead you to your destination."

"Yup," Nagakura agreed, "except when it doesn't."

Chizuru was not that surprised with this answer. By now she had heard stranger things. "Do you know how long it will take me to reach Hatter?"

"Oh, somewhere between now and then, though I'd imagine a might closer to then," Okita entertained.

Chizuru felt that she had probably gotten as much information from the three of them as she was going to get. "Thank you for your hospitality!" Chizuru bowed. The three smiled back and continued their conversations as though she had never been there at all.

As Chizuru made her way down the hill, her thoughts grew dark. She began to realize how acutely alone she felt. There were faces she recognized, but they hardly recognized her. It was a very painful feeling. Being with the three of them reminded her of everything she was missing, even before everything went haywire. She was in a strange place where she understood so little of the world around her. She felt very much like an outsider. It was a feeling she had become quite accustomed too, but had begun to forget about as her days with the Shinsengumi became routine. She wondered if she would ever feel like she belonged or if that was something lost to her the day she discovered she was a demon. It was a deep sadness that she hadn't before allowed herself to fully acknowledge. Chizuru sank to the ground and cried.


	3. Chapter 3

Chizuru was unsure how long she had sat on the grass before her tears stopped. It was not the most glamorous thing she could have done, but she felt the better for it and she was quite ready to continue her journey.

And continue her journey she did, down the hill and up another. She thought it looked as though it would be quicker to walk around the hills then over them, but experience in this odd place had taught her that looks can be quite deceiving. So follow the path she did and she soon found that the hills were not nearly as tall to walk over as they looked. It was not long until the end of the hills brought her to what looked like the outskirts of a large village.

Chizuru was quite happy to see something as familiar as a village; however, her delight was short lived. When she entered the village proper she did not see people as she had expected, but rather a large variety of animals going about their business as villagers do. There were all sorts of animals- mice, rabbits, birds, cats, dogs- and none took any more than a passing interest in Chizuru as they continued on their business. A fox walked down the street pushing a wagon filled with cabbages. A hawk swept the dirt off a store front while two raccoons seemed to be fixing the side of the building with a hammer and nails. Chizuru felt that this was by far the strangest thing she had seen yet.

Chizuru thought it best to not trouble any of the villagers and decided to continue through the village without conversing. She was not quite sure how to start a conversation with a fox and since they didn't seem particularly interested in her, she figured there would be no harm in simply passing through.

As Chizuru passed through the center of the town she came across a ramen cart. She would have thought nothing of it had she not realized that there was an actual person eating at the shop, and one she recognized to boot.

"Heisuke?" she asked, walking towards the cart.

"Huh? Are you talking to me?" asked the one who looked like Heisuke with a mouth full of multicolored noodles.

"Um, yes. Sorry." Chizuru mumbled. "You just look like someone I know." She was not particularly surprised when Heisuke didn't recognize her, but she had still hoped.

"He actually gets that a lot, so I wouldn't feel bad about it," said another.

Chizuru walked closer to the ramen cart to get a better view. As she thought, the man sitting in front of the cart bared a resemblance to Heisuke, though this version donned a necklace of brightly colored feathers. Behind the counter was another person whom, to Chizuru's surprise, looked entirely too much like the demon Shiranui. He too wore a necklace of feathers.

"Are you going to order something, or just passing through?" asked Shiranui.

Chizuru looked over at the bowl Heisuke was eating from. She was pretty sure ramen was not supposed to come in every color of the rainbow. "Just passing through."

"Are you sure," began Heisuke. "It's really good!"

"We have red bean ramen, green tea ramen, mochi ramen, and taro ramen."

"Um, thank you. But, I'm afraid I probably don't have anything to pay for it with," Chizuru said, figuring whatever money she had probably wouldn't be of any value here. Of which she was rather glad for, as the thought of any of his ramen recipes made her stomach churn.

"You're loss," Heisuke muttered through a bite of noodles. "By the way, I'm the Lory and this man over here is the Dodo," he finished, pointing at Shiranui rather rudely with his chopsticks.

"I'm Chizuru," she bowed. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"I don't think I've ever met a Chizuru before," Heisuke said.

_I seem to be getting that a lot_. "Chizuru is my name. I'm a woman."

"Then why didn't you say so?" asked Heisuke."

"But I-"

"He's right," began Shiranui. "You're supposed to introduce yourself properly when meeting a new person.

"I'm sorry," muttered a flustered Chizuru. "I thought I had when I told you my name."

Heisuke shook his head. "It's only a name if it _names_ you. How else are we supposed to know what you are if you don't tell us?"

"I never thought about it that way."

"It really is important to let others know what you are," said Shiranui. Otherwise, it could complicate things. Would you know I was a dodo or he was a lory if we didn't say so?"

"Probably not," Chizuru admitted. "But everyone usually just calls me Chizuru."

"Then maybe they're wrong," suggested Heisuke. "Unless you really are a Chizuru and you just didn't know it."

"That could be it," agreed Shiranui.

Chizuru didn't really think that made any sense, but she wasn't so sure there was much convincing them otherwise. "But what do you do if there is more than one dodo or lory in the same place at the same time?"

Shiranui frowned. "That wouldn't happen."

"Why is that?"

"You'll never find two who are exactly alike," Heisuke explained. "Even Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are different, and their identical twins!"

"I see. I'll be sure to keep that in mind." Sensing that there was little purpose in continuing this conversation, Chizuru thought to change the subject. "I happen to be searching for the Shinsengumi- or the Queen- or the Hatter. Would either of you know where I might be able to find any of them?"

"I don't know about the Shinesngumi or the Queen," Heisuke began, "but Hatter and I go way back. He's usually in a tea shop down the street. I don't know why you'd want to find him though. He's quite mad."

"I was told he may know where to find the Shinsengumi."

Heisuke frowned. "It is possible, but you may have trouble getting it out of him. As I said before, he's quite mad."

Chizuru nodded. She wanted to ask what the Hatter was so mad about that he would be difficult to talk to, but Chizuru decided that it would not be a very polite thing to do. Instead she made her goodbyes and walked down the street in the direction Heisuke had told her.

It was not long before Chizuru reached the tea shop near the end of the street. It looked to be a functional building with hardly any adornment and a simple green curtain across the entrance. If it was not for the smell of tea coming from the building she may not have recognized it as a tea shop at all.

Chizuru pushed aside the curtain and entered the building. She was rather surprised to find that the tea shop looked relatively normal. The interior was plain wood walls with no decoration to speak of. A number of tables and mats were arranged throughout the building with a counter towards the back wall. Another curtain separated a back area from the main room. The tea shop was sparsely populated with a several chickens, deer, and squirrels filling up two tables. Near the back counter was a fox in a blue and green striped kimono with a purple apron.

"Can I help you miss?" asked the fox. From the fox's voice Chizuru thought it to be female, though as she had never met a talking fox before she really did not have much to compare it to.

"I was hoping that I could speak to Hatter. I was told I could find him here."

"Certainly. He's in the back room. Follow me." The fox led Chizuru through the back curtain and passed another room she suspected was a kitchen of sorts. The back room seemed to be a private dining area with one long table. And this table was currently occupied.

Three familiar faces sat at the long table. There was a man who resembled Yamazaki, though his ears were quite long, brown, and rabbit like. Next to him was a man with two mouse-like ears who looked like Shimada. He seemed to be dozing on and off with his nose submerged in a tea cup. At the head of the table in a large straw hat was a man who looked remarkably like Sanan.

"So it seems our party has an expected guest," said Sanan finishing a cup of tea and pouring himself another.

Yamazaki shook his head. "_Un-_expected."

"Hardly!" disagreed Sanan. "I rather enjoy expecting the unexpected, making this unexpectation an expectation."

The fox turned to Chizuru and bowed. "Excuse me," she said, rather bewildered and shuffled out of the room.

"I'm sorry to intrude," Chizuru bowed.

Sanan smiled. "Not at all. It has been awhile since we've had entertainment."

"Entertainment…" Shimada snored into the tea.

"Don't mind him," began Yamazaki. He sleeps nearly as much as he drinks.

Sanan gestured for Chizuru to take a seat at the table. "My name is Hatter, though contrary to my name I do not enjoy making hats. The man over there is the March Hare and the man snoring in his tea is Dormouse," he said, gesturing towards Yamazaki and Shimada respectively. "Now, to whom do we owe the pleasure of this expectedly unexpected guest?"

"My name is Chizuru."

Sanan poured her a cup of tea. "A rather pretty name for a pretty little flower-bird. Or is it bird-flower, I can never quite remember."

"It's flower-bird or a flutterby. They're synonymous," said Yamazaki.

"Yes, of course. I think it would look quite interesting under a microscope," mused Sanan.

Chizuru quite wondered what a microscope was, though she was pretty sure that whatever it was, she would not want to be underneath it. She took a sip of tea. It wasn't nearly as bad as Harada had made it out to be.

"Now, I hardly think you came all this way for tea. Then again, this is a tea shop so if you _did_ come all this way for tea, I really shouldn't be surprised."

"I was told you may know how I can find the Queen, or possibly even the Shinsengumi. You see, I'm quite lost."

Sanan smiled. "We're all lost here."

"Indeed," Yamazaki agreed.

"Why, just the other day I lost my purpose. It was a very confusing experience as I wasn't sure what to do anymore. Fortunately, I found it tucked away beneath a pile of laundry."

Yamazaki nodded. "I found mine underneath a tatami mat."

Chizuru was beginning to think that no one in this world knew how to answer a question. Either that or she had forgotten how to ask one. She wasn't quite sure.

"Under a tatami mat? Sir March Hare I think you may need to keep better track of your purpose."

"I must have wanted to sit on it for awhile. Besides, do you think a pile of laundry is any better?"

"It must have needed a good washing or it wouldn't have been in the laundry." Sanan addressed Chizuru. "That's the problem with losing one's purpose. You tend to forget why you lost it to begin with."

"I'm not sure I ever considered it," said Chizuru.

"I would advise that you do." Yamazaki gestured towards Shimada. "Or you will end up like him."

"Like him?"

"Yes. He forgot if his purpose is to drink tea or to sleep so he tries to do both, neither of which he does to much success."

Shimada lifted his head. "There is an old haiku about a frog jumping into a tea cup, but I'm not very good with syllables."

"Pond, not a tea cup," reminded Yamazaki. "And its five-seven-five."

"A frog jumping into a pond is hardly a novel concept." Sanan grumbled. "Now a frog jumping into a tea cup would surely be worth remarking."

"I do not think that novelty is important in writing a haiku," Yamazaki stated.

"And you're an expert in haiku?" Sanan grumbled.

"No, but neither are you."

"True. But I see no importance in bothering with something so mundane."

"Perhaps you just do not appreciate poetry."

"Perhaps you are too tiresome to appreciate novelty."

"I still fail to see the importance of novelty in a haiku."

"And I fail to see the unimportance of novelty in a haiku." Sanan glared at Yamazaki, who glared back with equal intensity.

Chizuru was feeling quite uncomfortable. She had never written a poem herself, but she was fairly certain they were both missing the point. Regardless, she hardly wished to get into an argument with either of them. She felt that the best way to diffuse the situation would be to change the subject. "Um, Sanan? About my question. You wouldn't happen to know if-"

"I believe that there is only one way to settle this," said Sanan, completely ignoring Chizuru.

Yamazaki nodded. "Indeed. Though I would have rather avoided it."

"Then lets allow a duel to decide who's right."

"Very well. Name your terms."

"Quick draw or until one has been incapacitated." Sanan turned to Chizuru. "We need you to be our witness and judge.

"But, I can't!"

"You must," said Yamazaki. "Dormouse is in no condition to judge and you are the only other person here."

"But, I-"

"Good," said Sanan, before Chizuru could finish her sentence. "Now, please ready our weapons."

"Huh?"

"Our weapons," he said, pointing at two tea cups. "You can't have us doing it, it wouldn't be fair."

Chizuru was not sure what tea cups had to do with dueling. "I don't understand."

Sanan looked irritated. "We need you to pour the tea into the cups equally and place one in front of each of us at the same distance. This way neither of us has an unfair advantage."

Chizuru wasn't quite sure how to politely refuse participation. Instead, she did as she asked, pouring tea equally into the two cups and placing them before Sanan and Yamazaki.

"You will have to tell us when to begin," Yamazaki stated.

"Right. Um, begin?" As soon as Chizuru spoke both Sanan and Yamazaki reached for their cups, downed the tea, and slammed the cups onto the table. It happened so quickly Chizuru didn't have a chance to blink.

"I believe I have won this duel," said Yamazaki.

Sanan looked at Chizuru. "That is for our judge to decide."

"Well, um… I'm really not sure…"

Yamazaki looked at Chizuru as well. "It is your role as judge. You must make a decision."

Chizuru did not enjoy being placed in such a position. She wasn't even quite sure what constituted winning this odd duel. "Um, I think Yamazaki slammed his cup down first, so… he won?"

Yamazaki bowed. "I thought as much, though the outcome may very well have been different had your hand not been injured."

Sanan shook his head. "We cannot always control our circumstances in battle."

Chizuru was quite happy that the extent of the duel was tea drinking rather than sword fighting, though she felt quite bewildered at being put up to judging the duel so suddenly. Now that the duel was over she contemplated asking Sanan again for direction, but before she could get a chance another guest arrived.

"I apologize for the intrusion," said the guest. Chizuru recognized the voice and when she turned to look she saw, once again, the person who looked like Saito."

"White Rabbit, it's been awhile," smiled Sanan.

"It has not been particularly long," Saito replied.

"Nonsense. It's been at least a month."

"Three days."

"Three days, a month, semantics. But, no matter." Sanan waived his hand to the side. "In any case, what business does the Queen's hand have with me this time?"

"The Queen requests your assistance with a matter of state. There will be need of your tea."

"And who is on trial this time?"

Saito eyed Chizuru before responding. "The Knave."

"I see. Then I shall prepare."

"And I will take my leave." Saito bowed and left the room.

Immediately after Saito exited the room, Sanan took off his hat and began placing objects from the table into his hat. The cups and plates overflowed from the hat and crashed to the floor. Yamazaki picked up a broom from the corner of the room and began sweeping up the mess.

Chizuru turned to Shimada, as he was the only one in the room who wasn't doing anything in particular. "Excuse me."

"You're excused," he dribbled.

"Um, I realize this is rather presumptuous of me, but do you think it would be possible for me to come with you? I need to see the Queen."

Sanan paused. "Possible, but hardly practical."

"Indeed," concurred Yamazaki.

"Then, is there any chance you can tell me where I must go to find the Queen?"

"I certainly should. It would be rather odd if I couldn't tell you where to go when I work for the Queen, don't you think?"

"I suppose so."

"Then again, it is possible that I could find my way on instinct alone, which would suggest that while I arrive at my location, I hardly know how I get there."

"Do you find your way by instinct?" asked Chizuru, though she felt it to be a rather silly question.

"Not particularly, or not usually, I think."

"Then you could tell me where to go?"

"I believe you are very nearly there," Sanan stated. "Though, you are also quite far. It's all relative."

"I'm not sure I follow."

"You might want to figure that out then. It would be difficult to get anywhere if you are not sure if you are doing the following or doing the going."

"I meant that I do not understand your directions."

"About distance? The shortest distance between two points is a straight line, but it's not necessarily the quickest. Though it hardly matters, all roads lead to your destination, you see."

"Yes, I think I have heard that before."

"Well, it is good advice. No matter where you go, there you are."

"I'm still not sure I understand it though."

"That hardly matters. Do you need to understand how the flutterby glows for you to use the light?

"Um, well-"

"Exactly."

"I apologize, I'm just very confused."

"I noticed you do that a lot."

"Do what?"

"Be confused. If you spent less time confused and more time going you'd probably have found your way by now. Unless or course your way was entirely lost. You'd have to wait until it was found again before your continue on your way."

Chizuru was beginning to wish that she too made little sense. Perhaps than she could understand what everyone else was talking about. "I think I will try your suggestion and not bother with understanding." She thought she probably wouldn't be able to understand anyway.

"Excellent. Now off you go."

"But-"

"I have places to be. Shoo."

Chizuru quickly bowed and left the building, smiling politely as she passed the fox waitress. She walked a good bit away from the tea shop before she allowed herself to take in this last meeting. She could barely keep up with the oddities she encountered. Yet, there was hardly anything to do about it but press forward.


End file.
